| Woman: The doctor will see your cat in a moment Liz: Who's next, please? Jon: I think I just died and went to heaven Garfield: I think I just died Женщина: Доктор осмотрит вашего кота через минуту Лиз: Следующий, пожалуйста Джон: Мне кажется, я только что умер и попал на небеса Гарфилд: Мне кажется, я просто умер
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| Liz: Well, Mr. Arbuckle, your cats basically in good health. But you'll have to take better care of him. Garfield: Listen to the doctor, Jon. Liz: He's too fat. Garfield: Close your ears, boy! The woman's some kind of a quack!
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| Jon: How about a date, doc? Liz: I'd sooner die Jon: Well don't do THAT Garfield: Nothing like a snappy comeback to save face Джон: Как насчёт свидания, док? Лиз: Я скорее умру Джон: Ладно, не надо Гарфилд: Ничто так не спасает репутацию, как остроумный ответ
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| Jon: How about a date, sweetheart? Liz: That's DOCTOR to you Jon: Okay, how about a date, DOCTOR sweetheart? Джон: Как насчёт свидания, дорогая? Лиз: Для вас я - ДОКТОР Джон: Хорошо, как насчёт свидания, дорогой ДОКТОР?
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| Jon: Tell me, doc. Do you make house calls? Liz: It's not the veterinary medicine I mind. It's some of the animals I have to work with Джон: Скажите, доктор. Вы приходите по вызову на дом? Лиз: Я не против ветеринарии. Я против некоторых животных, с которыми приходится работать
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| Jon: Tell me, doctor, what do you suggest for an animal who's madly in love? Liz: I usually prescribe neutering Джон: Скажите, доктор, что бы вы посоветовали животному, обезумевшему от любви? Лиз: Обычно я назначаю стерилизацию
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| Liz: We'll make an appointment for Garfield's next check-up in about six months Jon: What if there's an emergency? Liz: Then you can call me day or night Jon: Come on, Garfield. Let's go home and play in traffic Garfield: That's not funny Лиз: Мы назначим Гарфилду следующий осмотр через шесть месяцев Джон: А если случится катастрофа? Лиз: Тогда можете звонить в любое время дня и ночи Джон: Давай, Гарфилд. Пойдём домой и поиграем на дороге Гарфилд: Это не смешно
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| Liz: Be right with you, Mr. Arbuckle Jon: I'll be here with bells on, doctor Liz: That makes for an interesting mental picture Jon: Why does she always put me down? Garfield: You're so putdownable Лиз: Вы точны, мистер Арбакл Джон: Я здесь по звонку, доктор Лиз: Это отображает интересную психическую картину Джон: Почему она всегда унижает меня? Гарфилд: Ты создан для этого
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| Jon: How about going out with me, doctor? Liz: I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on Earth Jon: Then how about sometime after that? Garfield: That's a good one Джон: Как насчёт прогуляться со мной, Доктор? Лиз: Я бы не пошла с вами, даже если бы вы были последним мужчиной на Земле Джон: Тогда, может, как-нибудь попозже? Гарфилд: Хороший ответ
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| Jon: How about a date, doc? Liz: No way Jon: Mmmm. Great! See you at eight Garfield: If you can't convince'm, confuse'm Джон: Как насчёт свидания, док? Лиз: Никак Джон: Мммм. Отлично! Увидимся в восемь Гарфилд: Не можешь убедить, сбей с толку
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| Jon: Hi, Doctor! Remember me? Jon? Your knight in shining armor? Liz: Oh yes, I remember. Names escape me, but I never forget a twit Джон: Привет, доктор! Помните меня? Джон, ваш рыцарь в сияющих доспехах! Лиз: Ну да, я помню. Имена я забываю, а вот придурков - никогда
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| Jon: In order to become a veterinarian, you must have a good mind for a woman Liz: I have a good mind for a man Jon: You also have a great body for a man Джон: Чтобы стать ветеринаром, у вас должен быть хороший ум для женщины Лиз: У меня хороший ум и для мужчины Джон: А ещё у вас потрясающее тело для мужчины
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| Garfield: Cats are invincible. Woe be to he who incurs the wrath of a cat *Smack* Jon: How long will he be in that body cast, doc? Liz: About a week Garfield: I could've guessed as much
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| Jon: How does it feel to be out of your cast, Garfield? *Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch*
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| Jon: Actually, doctor, my cat doesn't need a checkup. It was just an excuse to see you again. Liz: Garfield! I didn't know you cared. Jon: No...me, doc...me.
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| Jon: Tell me, doc, if we were married, Would you be Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Doctor Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Mrs. Doctor Liz Arbuckle, or... Garfield: I hate to see a grown doctor cry.
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| Jon: How about a date, Liz? Liz: And what do you have in mind? Jon: I'd love to just hold your hand and gaze into your eyes. Liz: I like that. Garfield: It's amazing the headway you can make when you stop playing games.
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| Jon: Good evening, Liz. I have a wonderful time planned for us. We'll have dinner, go to a movie, and many more things too numerous to mention. Liz: You brought the cat. Jon: That was one of the unmentionables.
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| Liz: Thank you for a lovely date, Jon. *kiss* Jon: Yah tah tah tah, yah tah tah tah. Garfield: Human love...it's so glandular.
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| Jon: You just have to restore Garfield's memory, doc. He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious... Vet: Are you sure you want me to do this? Jon: Come to think of it...
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| Liz: Let's test his reflexes. *donk!* *doing!* Liz: Normal. Jon: For Garfield.
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| Vet: Perhaps Garfield's amnesia could be cured by lightly traumatizing his cranium. Jon: Knock my cat on the head?! Who would ever do such a thing?!!! Mailman: May I be of assistance? Jon: You stay out of this.
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| Vet: Go ahead. A little tap on the head may bring your cat's memory back. *donk!* *gonk!* Garfield: Hey! I can remember! It's me! Garfield the cat! Jon: Garfield? Who's Garfield?
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| *Ding-dong* Jon: Hi, Liz Liz: Hmm... Cheap suit, but nicely pressed ...Neat haircut... Maybe this date won't be a disaster Jon: We're ready! Liz: Man the lifeboats... *Динь-дон* Джон: Привет, Лиз Лиз: Хм... Костюм дешёвый, но хорошо выглажен... ...Стрижка аккуратная... Может, это свидание и не будет катастрофой Джон: Мы готовы! Лиз: Команда по шлюпкам!
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| Jon: Great! I'm finally on a date with Ellen, and she doesn't even know who I am! This night could not possibly get any worse. Garfield: Wanna bet?
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| Jon: I don't believe it! Liz is out with another guy!...But why?! I bet if I disguised myself as a french waiter I could find out what was going on over there. But that would be incredibly stupid, wouldn't it? Garfield: Absolutely. Jon: I'm goin' in. Garfield: My hero!
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| Jon: Wood yew lak to or-DARE zee num-nums now? Liz: Jon?...Is that you? Well...uh...yeah. What gave me away? The bad accent? Liz: No... your busboy.
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| Jon: Liz, why are you going out with THIS guy? Man: What do you mean, «THIS guy»? Liz: YOU said your social calendar was all booked up... Jon: I was trying to impress you! Liz: Well, I had to go out with SOMEone, didn't I? Man: Hey! I'm SITTING RIGHT HERE!
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| Man: So, wait a minute...you LIKE this guy? Liz: As a matter of fact, I do. Jon: That's right! She does! You do? Liz: I do. Man: I'm lost here. Woman: Need directions?
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| Man: Look, sport, you two go on...she obviously has some sort of weird attraction to you. And if THIS lovely lady doesn't mind, I'll buy HER dinner instead! Jon: Ellen, I'm really sorry... Woman: Have we met?
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| Liz: I had a wonderful time tonight, Jon. Jon: So did I. And it's my birthday, too. Liz: Well, happy birthday! *KISS* Liz: Did you get something nice? Jon: I got a life. Garfield: And they lived happily ever after.
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| Liz: This is fun, Jon. Jon: What would you like to do for dinner? Liz: Why don't we just order Chinese food and watch an old Christmas movie on TV? He gets emotional around the holidays, doesn't he? Jon: Actually, I think it was the Chinese food that did it.
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| Jon: Liz! Liz: I came over to speak with a jealous cat. Hello, Garfield. Garfield: Oh... It's you.
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| Liz: Garfield and I talked, Jon. We're friends now! Jon: I KNEW you two would work it out! We should celebrate! Liz: Let's order pizza! Garfield: GROUP HUG!!!
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| Jon: I can't see the fish Liz: This is a very rare species. They can be pretty shy. It's probably hiding
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| Jon: Now, in miniature golf, you just swing easy...now, don't be nervous...easy... *klik* *plunk* Liz: It went in the hole. Is that good? Jon: Uh-huh. Garfield: It's only a game. It's only a game.
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| *boop bip beep beep bip* Liz: Hi, Jon. It's Liz I can't decide what to wear tonight. At first I thought my blue dress would be perfect, but then I decided my red top and skirt would look even better... Then I couldn't find any shoes to go with THAT, so I switched to the green cocktail dress, but the zipper on that was stuck... So I tried the purple strapless gown on, but the clutch purse that goes with it has a huge mascara smudge on it, and besides, I still think it makes my hips look big... So now I'm back to the dress, unless I can find a way to make that red top and skirt work with sandals, or something open-toed in a neutral color. What are you wearing? Jon: My suit Garfield: Hurray for guys
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| Liz: You're really attached to Garfield, aren't you? Jon: We've been together a long time Liz: Just like an old married couple Jon: A loooooonnnnnng time *Slap!* Garfield: And what's THAT supposed to mean?! Liz: I think I'll check the roast Jon: I want a divorce! Garfield: I get the fridge!
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| Jon (on the phone): Thanks for the flowers, Liz! Liz: You're welcome, Jon. Jon (on the phone): They were great. Liz (on the phone): «Were»? Jon: Were. Garfield: Burp.
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| Liz: Jon, this restaurant we're going to... Is it fancy? Jon: Sort of Liz: Should I wear my little black dress? ...Hello? Garfield: He says yes
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| Jon: I'll walk you to your car, Liz... Liz: Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman! KISS. Garfield: Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman! Jon: Jealous.
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| Liz: Jon! You shouldn't leave these things out! I might eat one! Garfield: Fear not, my dear. I'LL protect you.
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| Jon: You're hard to shop for, Liz. I STILL haven't bought your gift. Liz: Really? I got yours two months ago. Jon: Nnnnnngh! Garfield: Oh, cheer up. Have some loser nog.
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| Jon: There's no WAY you can't like THIS suit! Liz: Is this a genetic thing? Jon: No, it's seersucker. Garfield: Tiddy boom.
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| Liz: The NERVE of that big guy...kicking sand in your face! Jon: I should have punched him out! Garfield: WAH-HAHAHA! I mean, yeah!
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| Liz: A little to the right... A little to the left... A little more to the left... Okay, now a bit to the right... And jussssst a touch back to the left...little more... Annnnd...THERE! Stop! Perfect! Jon: Help. Garfield: See you in January.
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| Jon: Doo-dooo dee-dee dum doo-dooo... Ooh-ooh-oooooohhh baby, bay-bee. Uh-huh-uh-huh. Blang-a twanng-yang!! Cha-conk. Cha-conk. «Play again?» Джон: Ду-ду ди-ди дам ду-дуу... Оу-оу-ооооуу детка, дееетка! Ах-ха-ах-ха. Бланг-тванг-янг!! Ча-конк, ча-конк *Показать ещё раз?*
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| Jon (on the phone): Could I please speak to the most beautiful girl in the world? Liz: She's not here right now...will I do. Jon: How do I answer THAT? Garfield: I'd hang up and hide behind the drapes.
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| *Boop bip beep bip boop* Liz: Hi, Jon, It's Liz. My power just went out here. Did your power go out? Garfield: It's for you.
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| Liz: Is that a gag tie? Jon: Uh... Garfield: Try saying «Yes» and see what happens.
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