| garfield: come on garfield, snap out of this deep blue funk. So what if a dog moved in... Garfield: you can handle it. cheer up Garfield: take me now, lord!
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| garfield: Ten billion dogs in this world, and I get tweedledee the wonder dummy.
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| Odie: WOOF! Garfield: BARK! Odie: Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
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| Garfield: Poor me. Sigh... A big, vicious, brute of a dog has moved into MY home... *GRAB! Whap whap whap whap whap whap whap dribble dribble dribble PUNT* Garfield: How will I ever survive?
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| garfield: We cats are the source of many myths... garfield: The saying «nervous as a cat», is an old wive's tale garfield: Not to mention a cat always lands on his feet
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| garfield: Gotta keep my strength up
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| Garfield: A diet. Jon has me on a diet. When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean
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| garfield: all dogs should be banned from our country... garfield: They are noisy, silly, sloppy, rude... Garfield: and they'e rusting our nation's fire hydrants .
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| garfield: tum, dee-dum. dee-dum garfield: If it weren't for my naturally sweet nature, I'd make life rough for that dog.
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| garfield: If god had intended for dogs to bark, he would have given them roots and leaves.
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| *Zzzzz* Odie: BARK! Garfield: Now that I'm up.. I might as well have breakfast
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| Garfield: oh well... I guess a cat is entitled to let down on his defenses once in his life
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| *ZIP!* Garfield: That hurt me more than it did him
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| Garfield: Hmmmm... One canister is doggie biscuts and the other is kitty munchies, but I forgot which is which *WHAM!*
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| Garfield: Sniff hack cough wheeze sniff hack cough wheeze Гарфилд: Шмыг кхе хрип сип шмыг кхе хрип сип
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| garfield: Darn Garfield: that was too easy
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| garfield: when odie comes by I'm going to round off that pointy head of his garfield: how can you win against someone who doesn't even know the rules of the game?
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| garfield: I'm not known for my compassion
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| garfield: this year I resolve to be nicer to dogs garfield: Maybe I'll cut down on lasagna instead
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| Garfield: I was feeling pretty punk about having to wear this sweater... Until I say Odie's new outfit
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| *Snicker snicker* *HARF! HARF! HARF!*
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| Garfield: I suppose I should learn to like Odie. But I just can't respect anyone who turns around three times to lie down
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| *Bark! Bark! Bark!* Garfield: That's good enough *Screee POOMP!* Garfield: Thanks for the excercise *PUNT!*
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| *Pat pat pat pat* Garfield: You didn't see that
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| *CRASH!* Garfield: It's amazing the fun you can have with a hoop
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| Garfield: Gee, I'd almost forgotten how much fun it is to hang on the old screen door *SLAM!* Garfield: And I'd completely forgotten about the pain
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| Garfield: This is too good to be true. That WAS too good to be true
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| *SMACK!* Garfield: I hate patio doors
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| Garfield: Let's talk about dogs... What are dogs? Are they vegetable or mineral? Гарфилд: Поговорим о собаках... Что такое собаки? Они овощи или минералы?
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| Garfield: The caped avenger sees an evil dog. The caped avenger springs into action. The caped avenger hurts himself Гарфилд: Мститель в накидке видит злобную собаку. Мститель в накидке бросается в бой. Мститель в накидке сам себя калечит
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| Garfield: It's a myth that cats are high-strung Odie: BARK Garfield: There's a lot of truth in those old myths Гарфилд: То, что коты пугливы - это миф Оди: ГАВ Гарфилд: Но в старых мифах очень много правды
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| Garfield: POOF Гарфилд: ПУФ
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| Garfield: What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You get a stupid cat
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| *Scratch scratch scratch scratch* *Scratch scratch scratch scratch*
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| *TIP* *ТЫК*
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| *Waka waka waka waka waka waka* *Блям блям блям блям блям блям*
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| Garfield: Every day it's the same boring food, same boring people, same boring routine... Odie: Rrrr. Garfield: ...same boring fights.
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| *chomp! gulp gobble* *plick!* Jon: ODIE!
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| *Pat pat pat* *PUNT!*
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| Garfield: Fetch, boy. Obedient... Not very bright, but obedient Гарфилд: Принеси. Послушный... Не особо сообразительный, но послушный
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| *BOP!* *WHANGO* Garfield: Nobody beats up on Odie but me.
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| Garfield: Maybe Jon's right. Maybe I am too cynical. Maybe the world isn't as stupid as I think. Nah.
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| Garfield: I'm the kind of person who must see something to believe it. Yup, Newton was right.
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| Garfield: Ah ah ah. WAH-CHOO!
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