| Garfield: Spiders are curious insects to see. Their webs are really neat. But how do they weave them elaborately, when all they have is feet?
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| Garfield: Why, hello there, little spider. Here, make yourself at home. Share my food, my bed... My library *WHUMP!*
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| *WHAP!* *ШМЯК!*
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| *Squish* *пыщь*
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| *KA-CHUNK!* *click*
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| *whack!*
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| *THOT* Garfield: Spiders seem to have gotten faster as I've grown older.
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| Garfield: Higher... Higher... Perfect! *Bidditty bidditty bidditty bidditty*
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| Garfield: Peg leg.
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| *Click* Spider: Yeeeeooow!!! *Щёлк* Паук: Йаааауууу!!!
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| Garfield: Fore! *whock!*
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| Garfield: Spider pushups.
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| *YOING OING OING OING* Spider: Whoo! What a night! Garfield: Happy New Year
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| Spider: Hmmm. «Scorpio: travel highlights your immediate future». *WHACK* Паук: Хммм... «Скорпионы: в ближайшее вермя вас ожидает путешествие» *ШМЯК*
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| Spider: Hi! I'm new around here. My name's Myron. Put 'er there! Garfield: This is a good day
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| Garfield: What do spiders do for fun? Spider: Well, me, I like to read. Garfield: Knock yourself out.
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| Garfield: This is a little game I call «Boo-Whack». BOO!! Spider: EEK! *WHACK*
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| Garfield: How's the wife and kids? Spider: You SQUISHED them yesterday! Garfield: Oh...yeah. This is what's known as an «awkward moment».
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| Garfield: Hmmm. I don't remember squashing those spiders... Spider 1: Is he gone? Spider 2: Yeah. Spider 1: Frank, you're a genius! Spider 2: You do what you have to.
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| Spider: Hey, cat, what didja get on your pizza? Garfield: BURRRRP. Garlic Паук: Эй, кот, с чем у тебя пицца? Гарфилд: РРЫЫЫГ. С чесноком
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| Garfield: Funny, I don't remember swatting a spider
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| spider: hey, cat... Spider: I've been thinking a lot about my mortality lately garfield: Oh? spider: Yeah, is the afterlife a continuation of the journey of one's spirit, or is it more of an ephemeral thing?... spider: could it be a new beginning?...A portal to a new and better place? Garfield: see any bright light? spider: no...just lots of starts and birdies
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| Spider: I was bored Garfield: Reeeally bored Паук: Мне было скучно Гарфилд: Оооочень скучно
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| Spider: Oooh! You must be the cat with the rolled-up newspaper! *SMACK* Spider: I thought he was one of those urban legends.
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| Spider: I hear you're having a birthday. What should I get an old geezer like you? Garfield: How about a coaster with legs? Spider: Very clever.
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| *Boing!* Garfield: Got a trampoline for Christmas
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| Spider: ! *digga digga digga*
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| *Fooh* *Пфуу*
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| Computer: You have mail. *click* «Dear Spider, 3...2...1...»
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| Spider #1: Woo-ee, Vern! Lookee at that cat! Spider #2: Great goshamighty, Gomer! He's a BIG 'un! Spider #1: Take my pitchur with it, Gomer! Spider #2: Smile an' say «pork rinds»! One more, Vern...he moved.
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| Spider: Hey, DIRTBAG! Yeah, YOU, king ugly! You're so ugly, you make onions cry! You're so ugly, you have to trick-or-treat by phone! And by the way, stupidville called...they need you to pose for the town statue! *WHACK* Garfield: Open mic night is getting out of hand. Spider: Is this thing on?
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| Spider: HO! HO! HO! I'm SPIDER CLAUS! I HOPE YOU GET UNDERWEAR!
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| Spider: Hello, I'm a cat. And gee, I wonder what time it is?! Oh, that's right...it's time to smack the spider! Because I have no life! Garfield: Attitude adjustment time.
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| Spider: Why don't you love me anymore, Brenda? *whop* Brenda: You've changed.
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| *SMACK!* Spider #1: Guess what happened to me? Spider #2: OH, GEE. LET ME THINK... *ШМЯК!* Паук №1: Угадай, что со мной такое? Паук №2: ДАЖЕ НЕ ЗНАЮ, ДАЙ-КА ПОДУМАТЬ...
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| Garfield: Swat! Spider: Aaahhh! Not funny!
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| Spider: I've got the Christmas spirit! How about you?! Fah la la la la! Woo hoo! Woo hoo! 'Tis the season to... MAY ALL YOUR BATTERIES NOT BE INCLUDED!!!
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| Spider: Swatting spiders is wrong! *SMACK* Spider: Not to mention unattractive. HEY!
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| Garfield: You know what I hate? I hate spiders. Spider: Oh, me, too! Garfield: You ARE a spider. Spider: I mean all those other guys.
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| Garfield: If spiders didn't exist, who would care? Spider: Hel-LO?!... My mom!
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| Spider: It's not eacy being a spider Garfield: How so? Spider: Five of my knees hurt Garfield: Ouch
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| Spider Claus: Ho! Ho! Ho! It's me, again... Spider Claus! *SMACK* Spider Claus: AND MAY ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS COOKIES HAVE RAISINS! Спайдер Клаус: Хо! Хо! Хо! Это снова я... Спайдер Клаус! *ШМЯК* Спайдер Клаус: ДА ЧТОБ У ТЕБЯ ВСЕ РОЖДЕСТВЕНСКИЕ ПЕЧЕНЬЯ БЫЛИ С ИЗЮМОМ!
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| Garfield: Here comes the spider! Spider: VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Garfield: When did he get a scooter? Гарфилд: Приближается паук! Паук: УИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИИ Гарфилд: Откуда у него скутер?
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| Spider: My wife is making us go vegetarian. Last night, we had tofu fly Garfield: I'd swat you, but you've already suffered enough Spider: You said it, bro Паук: Моя жена хочет сделать нас вегетарианцами. Вчера вечером мы ели муху из тофу Гарфилд: Я бы тебя прихлопнул, но ты уже и так достаточно страдал Паук: Не то слово, бро
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| Garfield: And I thought MY Christmas list was long Гарфилд: А я думал, что это МОЙ список подарков на Рождество длинный
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| *Cough! Cough! Cough!* Spider: HAAAAACK!! Sorry, got a fly caught in my throat Garfield: That's gross!
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| Spider: I have a new girlfriend. Here's a picture! Garfield: Uh... Cute Spider: What can I say? I'm a leg man
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| Garfield: I've always wondered... How do spiders greet one another? Spider: What do you mean? Garfield: Do ypu shake hands? Spider: Nope. Takes too long Гарфилд: Всегда было интересно... Как пауки друг друга приветствуют? Паук: В каком смысле? Гарфилд: Вы руки друг другу жмёте? Паук: Нет. Слишком долго
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