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ГарфилдДжон АрбаклЛиз


Liz: Well, Mr. Arbuckle, your cats basically in good health. But you'll have to take better care of him.
Garfield: Listen to the doctor, Jon.
Liz: He's too fat.
Garfield: Close your ears, boy! The woman's some kind of a quack!

Jon: How about a date, doc?
Liz: I'd sooner die.
Jon: Well don't do that.
Garfield: Nothing like a snappy comeback to save face.

Jon: How about a date, sweetheart?
Liz: That's DOCTOR to you.
Jon: Okay, how about a date, DOCTOR sweetheart?

Jon: Tell me, doc. Do you make house calls?
Liz: It's not the veterinary medicine I mind. It's some of the animals I have to work with.

Jon: Tell me, doctor, what do you suggest for an animal who's madly in love?
Liz: I usually prescribe neutering
Джон: Скажите, доктор, что бы вы посоветовали животному, обезумевшему от любви?
Лиз: Обычно я назначаю стерилизацию

Liz: Be right with you, Mr. Arbuckle
Jon: I'll be here with bells on, doctor
Liz: That makes for an interesting mental picture
Jon: Why does she always put me down?
Garfield: You're so putdownable

Jon: In order to become a veterinarian, you must have a good mind for a woman
Liz: I have a good mind for a man
Jon: You also have a great body for a man
Джон: Чтобы стать ветеринаром, у вас должен быть хороший ум для женщины
Лиз: У меня хороший ум и для мужчины
Джон: А ещё у вас потрясающее тело для мужчины

Garfield: Cats are invincible. Woe be to he who incurs the wrath of a cat
Jon: How long will he be in that body cast, doc?
Liz: About a week
Garfield: I could've guessed as much

Jon: How does it feel to be out of your cast, Garfield?
*Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch*

Jon: Actually, doctor, my cat doesn't need a checkup. It was just an excuse to see you again.
Liz: Garfield! I didn't know you cared.
Jon: No...me, doc...me.

Jon: Tell me, doc, if we were married, Would you be Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Doctor Mrs. Jon Arbuckle, or Mrs. Doctor Liz Arbuckle, or...
Garfield: I hate to see a grown doctor cry.

Jon: How about a date, Liz?
Liz: And what do you have in mind?
Jon: I'd love to just hold your hand and gaze into your eyes.
Liz: I like that.
Garfield: It's amazing the headway you can make when you stop playing games.

Jon: Good evening, Liz. I have a wonderful time planned for us. We'll have dinner, go to a movie, and many more things too numerous to mention.
Liz: You brought the cat.
Jon: That was one of the unmentionables.

Liz: Thank you for a lovely date, Jon.
Jon: Yah tah tah tah, yah tah tah tah.
Garfield: Human love...it's so glandular.

Jon: You just have to restore Garfield's memory, doc. He doesn't beat up on Odie, he doesn't claw the furniture, he's not lazy and obnoxious...
Vet: Are you sure you want me to do this?
Jon: Come to think of it...

Liz: Let's test his reflexes.
Liz: Normal.
Jon: For Garfield.

Vet: Perhaps Garfield's amnesia could be cured by lightly traumatizing his cranium.
Jon: Knock my cat on the head?! Who would ever do such a thing?!!!
Mailman: May I be of assistance?
Jon: You stay out of this.

Vet: Go ahead. A little tap on the head may bring your cat's memory back.
Garfield: Hey! I can remember! It's me! Garfield the cat!
Jon: Garfield? Who's Garfield?

Jon: Great! I'm finally on a date with Ellen, and she doesn't even know who I am! This night could not possibly get any worse.
Garfield: Wanna bet?

Jon: I don't believe it! Liz is out with another guy!...But why?! I bet if I disguised myself as a french waiter I could find out what was going on over there. But that would be incredibly stupid, wouldn't it?
Garfield: Absolutely.
Jon: I'm goin' in.
Garfield: My hero!

Jon: Wood yew lak to or-DARE zee num-nums now?
Liz: Jon?...Is that you? Well...uh...yeah. What gave me away? The bad accent?
Liz: No... your busboy.

Jon: Liz, why are you going out with THIS guy?
Man: What do you mean, «THIS guy»?
Liz: YOU said your social calendar was all booked up...
Jon: I was trying to impress you!
Liz: Well, I had to go out with SOMEone, didn't I?

Man: So, wait a minute...you LIKE this guy?
Liz: As a matter of fact, I do.
Jon: That's right! She does! You do?
Liz: I do.
Man: I'm lost here.
Woman: Need directions?

Man: Look, sport, you two go on...she obviously has some sort of weird attraction to you. And if THIS lovely lady doesn't mind, I'll buy HER dinner instead!
Jon: Ellen, I'm really sorry...
Woman: Have we met?

Liz: I had a wonderful time tonight, Jon.
Jon: So did I. And it's my birthday, too.
Liz: Well, happy birthday!
Liz: Did you get something nice?
Jon: I got a life.
Garfield: And they lived happily ever after.

Liz: This is fun, Jon.
Jon: What would you like to do for dinner?
Liz: Why don't we just order Chinese food and watch an old Christmas movie on TV? He gets emotional around the holidays, doesn't he?
Jon: Actually, I think it was the Chinese food that did it.

Jon: Liz!
Liz: I came over to speak with a jealous cat. Hello, Garfield.
Garfield: Oh... It's you.

Liz: Garfield and I talked, Jon. We're friends now!
Jon: I KNEW you two would work it out! We should celebrate!
Liz: Let's order pizza!
Garfield: GROUP HUG!!!

Jon: I can't see the fish
Liz: This is a very rare species. They can be pretty shy. It's probably hiding

Liz: You're really attached to Garfield, aren't you?
Jon: We've been together a long time
Liz: Just like an old married couple
Jon: A loooooonnnnnng time
Garfield: And what's THAT supposed to mean?!
Liz: I think I'll check the roast
Jon: I want a divorce!
Garfield: I get the fridge!

Jon (on the phone): Thanks for the flowers, Liz!
Liz: You're welcome, Jon.
Jon (on the phone): They were great.
Liz (on the phone): «Were»?
Jon: Were.
Garfield: Burp.

Jon: I'll walk you to your car, Liz...
Liz: Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman! KISS.
Garfield: Oh, Jon, you're such a perfect gentleman!
Jon: Jealous.

Liz: Jon! You shouldn't leave these things out! I might eat one!
Garfield: Fear not, my dear. I'LL protect you.

Jon: You're hard to shop for, Liz. I STILL haven't bought your gift.
Liz: Really? I got yours two months ago.
Jon: Nnnnnngh!
Garfield: Oh, cheer up. Have some loser nog.

Jon: There's no WAY you can't like THIS suit!
Liz: Is this a genetic thing?
Jon: No, it's seersucker.
Garfield: Tiddy boom.

Liz: The NERVE of that big guy...kicking sand in your face!
Jon: I should have punched him out!
Garfield: WAH-HAHAHA! I mean, yeah!

Liz: A little to the right... A little to the left... A little more to the left... Okay, now a bit to the right... And jussssst a touch back to the left...little more... Annnnd...THERE! Stop! Perfect!
Jon: Help.
Garfield: See you in January.

Jon: Doo-dooo dee-dee dum doo-dooo... Ooh-ooh-oooooohhh baby, bay-bee. Uh-huh-uh-huh. Blang-a twanng-yang!! Cha-conk. Cha-conk.
«Play again?»
Джон: Ду-ду ди-ди дам ду-дуу... Оу-оу-ооооуу детка, дееетка! Ах-ха-ах-ха. Бланг-тванг-янг!! Ча-конк, ча-конк
*Показать ещё раз?*

Jon (on the phone): Could I please speak to the most beautiful girl in the world?
Liz: She's not here right now...will I do.
Jon: How do I answer THAT?
Garfield: I'd hang up and hide behind the drapes.

*Boop bip beep bip boop*
Liz: Hi, Jon, It's Liz. My power just went out here. Did your power go out?
Garfield: It's for you.

Liz: Is that a gag tie?
Jon: Uh...
Garfield: Try saying «Yes» and see what happens.

Jon: It has occurred to me that I am no longer a loser. I have a girlfriend, pets... An awesome sock collection...
Liz & Garfield: Loser

Garfield: Wah-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Jon: Wah-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Garfield: Wah-ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Jon: Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee.
Garfield: Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee.
Liz: «Finicky Eating Habits of the Cat».
Liz: Wah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Jon: Wah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Garfield: Wah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
*Pound pound pound*

Liz: Let's go do something tonight
Jon: Okay. You'll have to stare off into space by yourself
Garfield: I'll manage

Liz: Some men look good in hats
Jon: I wonder what she meant by that
Garfield: Some men would know

Jon: Liz, I just don't know what to get you for Christmas!
Liz: Oh, Jon, you're all I need for Christmas.
Garfield: Maybe she could exchange you for something good.

Jon: I dreamed about you last night, Liz.
Liz: How sweet.
Jon: I also dreamed about Godzilla.
Liz: Different dream, I hope.
Jon: Then let's say it was.
Garfield: I'll be leaving the room now.

Jon: I think i'll do something rugged and manly
Liz: Like what?
Jon: Mow the lawn with my shirt off! I'm stuck
Garfield: Now's your chance to make a run for it


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