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Garfield: I'm cutting down on cookies.

Garfield: I present, in its entirety, Giacomo Puccini's «La Boheme». MROOOWRR. One man's opera is another man's caterwaul.

Garfield: Meow.
Cat: Meow.
Cat: Meow.
Garfield: Meow.
Cat: Meow!
Garfield: Meow!
Cat: MEOW!
Garfield: MEOW!
Cat: MEOW!
Garfield: MEOW!
Cat: And just what are we arguing about?
Garfield: I haven't the foggiest idea.

Garfield: On a clear day you can see... A shirtless fat guy mowing his lawn.

«This is not a trick, really!»
Garfield: The coyotes in this neighborhood aren't very clever.

Garfield: ...And I lived happily ever after! The end. The best books are the ones you write yourself.

Garfield: Fun follows me wherever I go. Hurry up!

Garfield: I should slow down and take it easy. Maybe later.

Garfield: I declare today a holiday! Z
Гарфилд: Объявляю сегодня выходным днём! ХР

Garfield: Check me out! Thought I'd give the world a thrill.

Bug: Halt! Who goes there?! HALT, I SAY! I need a bigger badge.

TV: The monster uses his incredible strength! RRRRR! But he still can't get that jar open.
Garfield: Monsters love pickles.

TV: I've DONE IT, Igor! Done what, Master?! I've transplanted the brain of a cat into an elephant! Do you realize what this means?!
Garfield: You're gonna need a bigger litter box.

Garfield: I am a cat of great dignity. BURP. And soda.

Garfield: I'm behaving myself today. Whoa... It's a lot like just sitting here.

«Dear Santa,»
«I have been good all year. Please bring me lots of presents. Love, Garfield.»
Garfield: Sometimes you just nail it on the first draft!

Garfield: That was a great vacation. I can't believe it's over already. Oh well, back to the old grind
Гарфилд: Это были отличные выходные. Даже не верится, что они кончились. Что ж, вернёмся к рабочим будням

Flea: Fellow fleas, our travels are over! We have journeyed this vast cat. And we will settle here!
Garfield: I hope their crops fail.

Garfield: We house cats may seem nice, but we still have all our primal instincts intact. Yes, the savage blood of our jungle forefathers yet courses through our veins as we venture off to the hunt. Oh, taxi!

Garfield: I think I'll get up. I think a lot of things.

Garfield: Have you missed me, world? I didn't miss YOU, either
Гарфилд: Скучали по мне? И я по ВАМ нет

Garfield: Time for bed. Look at me... I forgot to get up today!
Гарфилд: Пора в кровать. Гляньте-ка! Я сегодня забыл встать!

Garfield: I've seen it all. If it's on the ceiling.

Garfield: And you think I've gained weight!

Garfield: I'm cold. Jon?! Would you turn the winter down, please?

Garfield: Stay tuned for more me. And now, slightly less me.

Garfield: Oh, how I suffer! Check that. Oh, how I make others suffer!

Jon: Ow. Ow. Ow. Breathe! Don't faint! Don't faint! Don't faint! Don't faint! Ow ow ow ow ow!
Garfield: Happens every time Jon removes a bandage

Garfield: Z. GAH! Waking up is an annoying way to start a day

Garfield: Z. Z. Z. Might as well go to bed

Garfield: I'm falling from a tree! Z. A really tall tree

TV: No! You can't make me! Get into your coffin, young man!
Garfield: Teenage dracula.

Garfield: Christmas is over already?! It can't be over! It has to come back! I'm not done being merry yet!!

Garfield: I'm in such a good mood! What could possibly end it? Waking up.

Garfield: Whoa... Do you ever feel like you don't know what's going on? Isn't that great?

Garfield: Uh-oh, here comes a bad mood! I ducked.

*Scoop scoop scoop pack pack pack*

Garfield: Why are you snails so slow?
Snail: We are not! I'll bet that I'm faster than you!
Garfield: I'll accept that bet!
Snail: You're on! Ready! Set!... Go!
Garfield: Hey! That's cheating!

Garfield: Could I be missing something in my life? Nope.

Garfield: The Earth opened up and almost swallowed me. That would have been a disaster. Right, Jon?

Garfield: Curse you, March.

Garfield: If I ignore the world, maybe it will go away. Except for the lasagna.

Garfield: BURP! Thank you! Encore. BURP!

Garfield: The cat has given so much to the world. And there's more where that came from, pal.

Garfield: When the coffee goes down, the eyelids go up!

Garfield: Hmmmm. A quiet house... An ampty couch... A great old movie on TV... And a perfectly fluffed pillow. I swear... Some days just have «waste me» written all over them!

Bee: Bees are social insects. It's fun hanging out
Garfield: No, it's not

Garfield: Wow... Look at the grass grow. I like action

Garfield: Some worry about oversleeping. Not me, though. I worry about over-waking

Garfield: Time to walk by the neighbors. We have a history