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Garfield: WAHCHOO! Sniff.

«Dear Garfield, How do I avoid the embarrassment of cat hairs all over my house when I have company? Harried»
Garfield: Simple. Never invite anyone to your home again.


Garfield: Looking good, Garfield. You still have it, you rascal. An active imagination is a wonderful thing.

Garfield: Huh, now where could the birds be? I was looking forward to a mid-morning snack. They must be elsewhere. I guess I'll check back later.
Bird: GASP!

Garfield: Here I am in the land of large breakfasts. This giant pancake sure tastes good. What a nice dream. Where's my blanket?

Garfield: I hate Monday
Гарфилд: Ненавижу понедельник

Garfield: Snack attack! Maybe just a sandwich. One ham on rye coming up.

Garfield: Faster than the speed of dark.

Garfield: Uh-oh.

Garfield: Life is like a poker game. If you don't win... You lose.

Garfield: I'm going to give that thing ini the stump a taste of this rock.
Voice: Munch munch ptooey!
Garfield: I didn't know stones had bones.
Voice: Burp.

Garfield: A very short but neat rain shower

Jon: Pardon me. Which is the way to Cincinnati? Thanks.
Garfield: I see by the ol' writing on the wall it's time to check myself into the funny farm.

Garfield: Look at all those tiny ants going to the tiny beach to do some swimming. Uh-oh. A tiny minnow is cruising in to eat the swimmers. Uh-oh. The minnow just got harpooned by an ant who bears a striking resemblance to Robert Shaw.

«Garfield's Law: Cats move at a speed proportionate to the amount of food at their destination. They may even exceed the speed of sound.»
Garfield: Meow.

Garfield: I hope this gift is mine. I hope it's Odie's.

Garfield: Get on your mark, get set... Jog! The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak

Jon: It's time you earn your keep around here, Garfield. There's a mouse hole and there's some cheese. You know what to do
Garfield: I certainly do

Garfield: Here's the scenario: cat crouches by cheese waiting for mouse to exit hole to retrieve same. Cat catches mouse. Fade out. The end. Heck with it. I prefer stories with a happy ending

Garfield: Why should I have to catch an innocent little mouse? I have nothing against him. In fact, he's kind and lovable.
Jon: If you don't catch that mouse, I'm putting you out in the cold!
Garfield: The furry twerp dies.

Garfield: This is demeaning. I have a noble heritage. I am a unique, vital individual. And all I'm considered as around here is a mousetrap. I must speak to my kitty litter changer about that.

Garfield: I don't want to catch this mouse. He's cute. I've even nicknamed him... «Stretch».

Garfield: Live and let live, I say.

Garfield: I'm just a ramblin' kind of guy...ramblin', ramblin'. Oh, no! I've heard terrible things about city sewers! They say the pet alligators that are flushed into the sewers grow to huge proportions. But this is ridiculous.

Garfield: OH, NO! DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! TURN BACK! TURN BACK! Sometimes, a cat's feet just gotta climb.

Garfield: Here I am, stuck up a tree. Things couldn't be worse. Okay, okay, NOW things couldn't be worse.

Garfield: I may be stranded up a tree. But at least I'm on a sturdy limb. The story of my life.

Garfield: Hey, fatso. What does a bird like you eat?
Bird: Cats.
Garfield: Chirp chirp.

Garfield: This isn't safe. Shoo! Shoo! Somebody might get hurt!

Garfield: A way down! All I have to do is dive into that birdbath.

Food: Don't eat me. You're too fat already!
Garfield: Who are you?
Food: This is your conscience speaking.
Garfield: I don't have a conscience.
Food: I know. I'm free-lancing.

Garfield: Shoo! Flies and I have a lot in common... You can't keep either of us away from food
Гарфилд: Кыш! У меня с мухами много общего... И их, и меня не отогнать от еды

Radio: Good morning, folks! My oh my, it's a beautiful Monday morning out there. Our weather radar shows clear skies with no rain in sight. Except over one house in the suburbs
Радио: Доброе утро, друзья! Боже мой, какое же замечательное утро понедельника. На нашем погодном радаре ясное небо, никакого тебе дождя. Кроме одного дома в пригороде

Garfield: RRRR. Okay, okay. Let's get something to eat.
Man: No cats allowed!
Garfield: I've been human for 10 minutes now, but I haven't forgotten my roots.

Garfield: Well, this is just great. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm tired... It's snowing to beat the band, and I haven't the foggiest idea where I am. While everyone else is having a White Christmas, I'm going to have a white lost.

Garfield: I'm cold, I'm hungry and I'm tired. They say, in cases like this you should fight sleep. I say, why fight an old friend?


Garfield: Mondays, I hate mondays. It seems like I just get done with one and along comes another one! Did you know you're cute when you're angry?


Little dog: Rrr